Negotiation Secrets Resolve Conflicts

What skills do you employ when trying to resolve conflicts? The answer should be, the same skills you use when negotiating.

Conflict resolution is a subset of negotiation and thus, the better you are at negotiating, the better you’ll be at resolving conflicts. The information that follows gives insight into how you can enhance your negotiation and conflict resolution efforts.

1. Listening:

a. In any negotiation, when attempting to resolve conflicts, really understand the other person’s perspective and assess the basis for the conflict.

b. Consider the source of the other person’s motivation that stimulates his beliefs, thoughts, and desires for the outcome he’s striving to achieve. Seek to understand his perspective at an intellectual and emotional level. Ask open-ended questions (i.e. questions that require more than a yes or no response) to solicit insight as to why he holds such beliefs to be valid.

c. Ascertain who and/or what the source of his beliefs, thoughts, and desires are that’s generating the outcome he seeks. If you determine that there’s a vast conflict between the position you hold and his, cite sources from references that he believes to be credible, in an attempt to sway his viewpoint.

2. Patience:

a. Prior to responding with a rebuttal, be sure you understand the gist of the other person’s position. Let him talk. The more he talks, the greater the opportunity to glean additional insight and information about his mindset.

b. Watch rhetoric, yours and the other individual. Words have meanings and some words may convey thoughts that are different from the intent you meant. Be sure to use words that the other person understands and applies in the same manner as you intended for him to perceive.

c. If you are slow to respond to questions, you give the impression that you’re reflective. Answer a question too quickly and you could give the impression that you’re being flippant. Strike a balance between the two modes, based on the situation at hand.

3. Use of language:

a. Once you understand the other negotiator’s perspective, assess the viability of his beliefs, based on the verbiage he uses. Some words, such as, “I believe” versus “I know” or “I’m sure of”, conveys the degree to which he believes his thoughts to be accurate. In observing the manner in which he uses words, you’ll be able to peer into his beliefs and begin to determine the level of commitment he has for the outcome he seeks.

b. If you cannot oblige the outcome the other person seeks, explain in language that he can understand (use words he uses) why you can’t oblige him.

c. Avoid using inflammatory language. An ill word cast at an inappropriate time, will deflate the conversation and most likely, create a more negative environment.

4. Tone and pace of voice:

a. Align the tone and pace of your voice to the situation and strategy you’ve adopted. If the situation calls for a display of empathy, display it. If on the other hand, it’s more appropriate to allow the timbre of your voice to convey a more steadfast position, display that demeanor. Unless it’s part of your strategy, don’t be backed into a position you can’t, or don’t want to defend.

b. Keep in mind, a good thought/plan delivered with the appropriate demeanor can soften rejection, or enhance acceptance.

c. Try not to interrupt the other person when he’s speaking. Take note of how long he delivers his position and be aware of when he starts to repeat himself. Regardless of whether the other person starts to pontificate, don’t over talk him.

Just because you silence a man doesn’t mean you’ve converted him. In order to gain benefits from the resolution of a conflict, you must delve deep enough into the psychological mind of the other individual to emotionally and intellectually understand his perspective. You must know what holds sway with him; in order to do so, you have to experience his reality. Once you’re able to comprehend his perspective, you’ll be prepared to offer a solution to his situation. If the intersection between what you’re capable of delivering and what he needs intersects, success will lie at that junction… and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

The Negotiation Tips Are…

• A conflict is nothing more than disparate positions. Never become mentally burdened as the result of a conflict. Understand the source of it before attempting to address it.

• In our everyday lives, we participate in conflict resolutions. If you take note and utilize some of the same tactics and strategies you employ in your negotiations, you’ll enhance your ability to resolve conflicts.

• Resolve in your mind that you’ll reduce tension in your personal and business life, by enhancing your communications with those you encounter. Become more adept at conflict resolution.

Quick Shopping Strategy to Find Easy Presents

Know one thing that’s in very short supply nowadays? Time. And that means there’s a definite need for a quick shopping strategy to find easy presents to get that bad boy under control.

Yes, time is surely something that needs to be managed effectively to get the most out of each person’s day. And one way to circumvent the obstacles in regards to gift shopping is to consider unique Gift Baskets as part of the shopping arsenal.

The first reason is that there are so many themes to this alternative that at least one should match the interests, appetites or hobbies of the recipient. Like what?

Let’s start with the edible shopping alternatives that are offered. These include easy presents in a basket packed with victuals such as chocolate, coffee, tea, and foods that are gourmet, Italian, spicy… and even healthy. Yes, any of these may be precisely what the receiver may be longing for.

And in case the lucky recipient of your generosity has a high level of interest in such things as movies, casinos, gardening, golf, and NASCAR… there are unique Gift Baskets for those as well… What else?

Know a lady who loves to luxuriate in warm, soothing splendor? And who loves a bit of pampering now and then? There’s a quick shopping choice for her known as Bath Spa Gift Baskets. These are brimming with everything she needs to feel good about things for a time.

And guys? Well, there are easy presents for them also. These can consist of unique Gift Baskets dealing with cars, cigars, motorcycles, handyman… and all sorts of other “guy stuff”.

What about certain life events that you wish to commemorate… like new babies, weddings, birthdays, new home? Yes, there are treasures in a basket for these as well.

There are even get-well and sympathy baskets out there to raise someone’s spirits when they’re down. These certainly can be a boost to anyone’s life when things aren’t going their way.

And another great reason to buy unique Gift Baskets? They can be shopped for and set up for delivery in a matter of minutes online. Yes, that means while sitting in front of your computer where you are right now. Why not let technology make your life so much easier?

So there you have it as far as gift shopping – both effectiveness and efficiency. That’s the ticket to keeping time where it belongs… under your total command and control!

The Art of Being Present

I have spent the past few years, observing how people behave, both when they are at work, where they should be investing their time as productively as possible, earning a living and also whilst they are at home, where they are meant to be relaxing and recharging their batteries. It astounds me to see, that they are never present when they are doing either.

My observations have shown that when they are at work, they are lost in distraction, day dreaming about, how wonderful it would be, to be away from the office, involved in an activity with their spouse and children or even on the golf course. This means that they are not focused on working, so they perform below par and don’t get everything done they need to do whilst at work. This means that they reach the end of the day, without having wrapped up all the things, they needed to do for the day.

So they go home stressed, overwhelmed and are then forced to think about all the things they need to do the next day, when they go to the office, whilst they should be present, at home with their spouse, children or on the golf course. So when people should be at home resting and re-charging their batteries, they are instead stressed out about all the things they did not get done that day at work. Man, this is a crazy, pointless cycle of endless distraction and overwhelm.

Break Free from Distraction

This means people are never completely present, with anything they do. They are not focused at work, so their productivity is low and they are never able to concentrate and give their full attention towards completing tasks at work. Research has shown that if you are distracted, your IQ drops by 10 points. People, who smoke marijuana, only experience a drop of 5 points in their IQ. So allowing yourself to be distracted, has a greater negative affect on you, than smoking marijuana does. Combine this with the loss in productivity because you are never present, both when you need to be completing tasks at work and re-charging your batteries at home and you can understand why people, seem to just spin their wheels all day, achieving very little.

Learn the art of being present

If you truly want to achieve greatness, then it is time to accept that you need to be 100 % present and focused on what you are doing at that time. When you are at work, forget about how great it would be to be out with your family or water skiing. Be present, focused on the task at hand. This means that you will actually get far more done each day at work, so that you will reach the end of a day, having actually got everything done, which you needed to do that day. So when you leave the office and head home, you really are done for the day and you can go home to spend quality time with your family, where you can be 100 % present too. When you are sitting watching TV with your spouse, you are no longer procrastinating and not doing work related stuff. You are resting, recharging your batteries and spending quality time with the person, who matters most in your life. What could be better?

Being Present invites happiness in

I believe that one of the major reasons why most people struggle to find happiness is because they are never present in the moment. They do not understand that to be happy, is to be present. They do not understand that happiness is really just a state of being, where you are present, living in the moment.

When you are not present, you also never really listen to what people are saying to you. Yes you hear the words, but you can never truly hear what they say. You can never completely absorb the message people are trying to send to you. This can be a huge challenge if you are involved in supporting your customers. You never completely listen to and connect with them.

Distraction gets you through the day

When you are not 100 % present in every moment, where you are instead, locked in a place where you are dreaming about future possibilities or past experiences, you never notice that you are squandering your most valuable possession, namely right now. This means that you float through each day, merely hanging on. Instead of finding ways to get as much as possible from each day, you are left licking your wounds every night, thankful that you got through the day.

Try to learn the art of being always being present. Be where you are 100 %, focus everything in the current moment. Draw as much substance, wealth of experience, productivity and everything on offer from each moment and you will finally get to really live. Truly living is all about being as productive as possible when you work, listening in silence, watching a sunset, investing time with people, who matter and capturing each moment, so that it can become a new part of who and what you are. Life is not something you do; it is something incredible, which you have the privilege to experience, every day. Learn the art of being present; enjoying every moment and you will have mastered the art of living.